The latest

So I finally heard back from the doctor about the neurotensin thing. And apparently the specialist didnt know either. So she is faxing him all my test results. He is looking for evidence that my body is spontaneously producing some kind of enzyme. Or at least I think that is what she said he was doing. In the meantime though, I am now on an elimination diet. No wheat, dairy or sugar. For 3 weeks. Wow. The good news is that I am likely to lose some more weight in the process. But I have some questions, has anyone else done this before? Can I eat rice? Equal? Anyone know?

I'm tubbin it!

Happiness has arrived to apartment 3S. Not only have I felt like a million bucks for the past 2 days, but this morning, finally, Navin R. Johnson jumped in the tub. For those of you who havent gotten the shake down from a wet Johnson (*snicker*), Navin LOVES to be in the tub. But due to her diabetes, she hasnt been able to do this for months. She just sits under the drippy faucet and lets the water run down her back, occasionally licking off a drop or two. She will sit in there til she is good and wet. Then she comes out and jumps up on laps, delighting in your shriek as you realized that a very wet cat has just jumped on your lap/rubbed your legs. At which point we all sing (to the tune of the McDonalds commercial) 'Da da da da da, I'm tubbin it!' Regardless of how often we do it, it seems to make the whole place happy, not to mention Navin. I think this represents a turning of the tide for the whole apartment. Good ol Navin.

I guess I am a woman now

So, finally, the post about the bachelorette weekend. The Swinger has done a fantastic wrap up of the event. I dont know what more there is to say about it. It really was amazing. No one there really knew more than 2 people and yet, it was so much fun that I forgot that this was the first time several people were meeting. And since I spent most of the weekend being sick, and STILL was amazed at how much fun it was, I cant imagine what it would have been like had I felt well. Muchachomama did a fantastic job. And that folks drove in from LA and flew in from Chicago and Phoenix was just too much.

I dont think that I keep it a secret that I lived a charmed life. One really great thing after another seems to happen to me. And always, at those moments, its all of you who are with me. Different ones at different moments. There is no doubt in my mind that all of you are what makes my life so divine. Seriously. I am just so thankful. And even those of you who werent in Vegas were with me in my thoughts. Again, I cant say it enough - thank you.

results in

They found nothing. And I have a feeling they arent particulary interested in looking for anything else. I dont know what I am going to do. They only thing it said was that something called 'neurotensins' or something were slightly elevated. She didnt know what that meant and will call me tomorrow. I am sure it will end up not being anything of note either. This is seriously bumming me out.

And I am going to write a post about how amazing the bachelorette weekend was. I promise to write something soon.

Of Frankenstein and Prince Impersonators

Had another test on Wednesday. This one was an upper GI with a small bowel follow through. The best description I had gotten going in was that like the CT scan in that I had to drink Barium and they would take x-rays. The part that no one told me about was just how fun/absurd the whole thing really is. This part of the fun has me standing up in front of a moveable xray machine. It starts off with drinking some 'Fizzies' which are designed to expand the esophagus and stomache. My job- not to burp. I asked if they had any advice about this, as generally, I am not one to stiffle a good burp. The key, in case this someday saves your life, is to keep dry swallowing. The problem of course is that all your body knows is that something wants to come up. My body wasnt so convinced it was just air. I was sure I was going to puke. While I am freaking about this, they give me some 'thick as glue' barium to drink while the 2 doctors and 2 techs in the room move the xray machine all over the place taking xrays. Then, still not burping, they change the incline of the table slowly so that the table I was leaning on is now one I am laying flat on. Like Frankenstien. Then I drink more barium while laying on my stomache. At this point, I am glad I no longer am convinced I am going to puke. But the silliness is about to begin. From here, I am instructed to - in a hospital gown - roll around on the table. 2 times around to the right, 2 times around to the left. Twice. I was manually coating my stomache. And of course, it was Illinois Masonic so my doctor was the cutest thing. So naturally my ass fell out of my gown.

After that was done, I was sure I was clear and free. Nope, more barium and then a total of 2 hours walking in circles around the hospital, hoping the barium will move to the small intestine. We would take a break every 15 minutes or half hour to check the progress. When I was finally done, it was more of the live xray business. And this time I could see the monitor. All my innerds, right there. The part that I found most fascinating was that the small colon isnt nearly as organized as I wouldve thought. Lots of little bunches here and there. I thought it would be much more compact. One of the bunches he couldnt get to because it was under my ribs. Although he poked and poked and gave it the ol med school try.

All in all, it couldve been worse. I have recently found out that a distant cousin of mine had the same symptoms. She ended up having gall stones. So that is now number 2 on my 'preferred diagnosis' list. The first being something to do with my appendix. But the more I think about it, the more I am pretty sure that our trip around the world just isnt happening. We cant go unless they diagnose it and cure it in the next 2 weeks. Seems unlikely. And I am totally at peace with that. Eagle and I have been thinking about all the really great things we can do if we dont go. And there is lots of good to be had. It will totally all work out.

And it is off to Vegas this weekend. Oh lordy, I cant wait. So much good stuff going down. Lots of friends, lots of gambling, a massage by my favorite masseusse Jay, possible Prince impersonator, naked people at Cirque. Its going to be all good. I cant wait to come back and gush about it.

And speaking of Prince, his documentary for Sign 'o' the Times was on Encore the other morning and we got it taped. Wow. Its a must-see train wreck. A little teaser for you: Prince sings The Cross in a jean jacket with a pink guitar. As Iron Chef Chicago noted, 'Is this a Wham concert?' Fantastic.

tests and results

So, for those of you who have been wondering, my test results were inconclusive. However, I did find out that my kidney functions better than the average human. (I am so competitive) Since I have had several kidney infections, that was good news. However, as I have mentioned, because my symptoms are so symptomatic for cancer that they are continuing tests. And in the meantime I am taking medication for IBS, just in case and why not. Once I saw the medication, I realized that I was prescribed this in Seattle when I brought the issue up to someone there. However, I thought I was supposed to take it AS I was getting sick. This time I am supposed to take it twice a day. Since it didnt work the first time, perhaps this new way will work. However, my symptoms dont really match, and frankly being diagnosed with IBS can be like being diagnosed with ADD. If they dont know what it is, they call it IBS.

Anyway, so I had my very first CT scan this morning. Not so bad all in all. When Eagle set the alarm he altered the time so I took half the Berium (which didnt taste bad, fyi) before realizing it was 5:30 instead of 6:30. And since I was having trouble sleeping, it was really annoying to be up that early. However, in this case it was certainly better to get up early rather than late. During the exam, I felt something I have never felt before which was the contrast literally flowing through my veins. I could feel it go up my arm and make its rounds through my body. Totally wild. And then I got really hot and felt like I had wet myself. Thankfully, she had warned me of this so I wasnt too wierded out, but wow, bizarre. If my doctor were in town I would get the results on Wed. However, it appears that now I will get them after Vegas. Not too big of a deal as I have another one to do that requires a different Berium. I hope that one doesnt taste bad either. And I really really hope they find something. This not knowing business is annoying. Not only do I like not knowing, but this is kinda all they know to do, and I cant imagine living like this.

And since so many of you are hospital bound, I just wanted to note that I love Illinois Masonic. Seriously. I wouldnt go anywhere else. Customer service up the wazoo.

I think I'll end this on wazoo. Has a nice ring to it. Will continue to keep you posted.

Waiting around

A couple of times I have thought to write something here, but then kept putting it off because tomorrow I might actually know something about what is going on with me. And since that is the biggest thing I have going on, I was putting off writing something. Which is just so silly, because in the meantime lots of great stuff has been happening. Eagle and I spent the weekend up in Woodruff, WI with my favorite pair of initials, D & G. And it was so so good. It was relaxing and fun and sunny and swimmy and s'morey. And lots of flesh was left a bit seared, but all in all quite delightful. Eagle started prepping D for Vegas and he did well with basic strategy pretty quickly. (2 weeks til Vegas! Hot damn!)

On the way home Eagle and I started a conversation about what we expect from marriage and then specifically our spouse. Questions like 'What does your vision of 'wife/husband' provide for you?' 'What do you want our marriage to be about?' 'What does having a spouse vs boyfriend/girlfriend fulfill?' Stuff like that. Above and beyond all the interesting answers that came out of that, I noticed that nowhere in my life have I heard those questions asked. Never heard them growing up, no one has ever asked me that, never heard anyone talking about it, etc. And they seem like really important questions. And as I have mentioned before, its a perfectly acceptable thing to have marriage be no different than dating, except that now its harder to break up, but I dont think people actually want that out of marriage. Or maybe they do. Its certainly easier than confronting the possible answers. We are certainly going to dwell in the inquiry of that for awhile longer. Any married folks out there have their own answers for these? Would love to hear them in the comments.