Checking In

Just wanted to post something because it has been so long and we know how Eagle feels about people not updating their blogs (his not included of course). I think mainly I have been so quiet as part of me is trying to pretend that I dont feel like I am barely holding it together. And the other part thinks perhaps I am taking advantage of some really great dramatic circumstances in order to be able to suffer. And what is definitely showing up is a good bit of anger. I cant begin to describe how busy I am at work. I literally took over another project managers job, for no more money. And this is my normal busy time of year anyway. And of course, there is the wedding, the honeymoon and the condo. And I have been sick and tests are really ramping up for that. Apparently my symptoms are textbook for a carcinoid tumor, but initial tests havent shown one. They are looking into whether my symptoms are hormonal before they go back to see if the tumor is in my small intestines. So far they have only checked my large intestines. Obviously, we want to get this diagnosed before we leave for our trip, or it could mean that we dont leave depending on the treatment. And for the worriers among you, apparently this kind of cancer is rarely fatal as it is remarkably slow moving. AND we dont know that that is it yet, which is why I havent mentioned it earlier. But man, I am feeling some serious pressure. Or maybe today is just a bad day.